Recently, I was tagged in a Facebook post where someone claimed to be “exposing the truth.” According to him, we don’t actually have a literacy crisis. What we have, he said, is a parent priority problem, parents who don’t read aloud to their kids.
Let me be clear: this framing is not only unhelpful, it’s harmful.
Because here’s the truth: we don’t solve literacy challenges by blaming families. We solve them by partnering with them.
Let’s Start With the Data, Not the Finger Pointing
We do have a literacy crisis.
And we know that because the data tells us so.
National Assessment of Educational Progress scores consistently show that far too many students are not reading proficiently. That reality exists regardless of how much parents read aloud at home.
We also know something else from decades of research:
high family engagement is linked to stronger academic outcomes for students.
Both things can be true at the same time.
But here’s the distinction that often gets missed:
Engagement is not the same thing as compliance.
Telling parents what they should be doing is not engagement.
Demanding things from families without supporting them is not partnership.
And blaming parents for outcomes produced by systems they didn’t design doesn’t move us forward.
Schools and Parents Have Different Roles, and That’s Okay
Schools are institutions of education.
Parents are raising children.
Those roles are different, but they are not competing.
If we want stronger family engagement, schools have to ask an honest question:
What are we doing to create engagement, not just expect it?
Because many parents sitting across from us are products of the very systems we now know failed to teach reading effectively. Some are not confident readers themselves. Some don’t know the language we use. Some are carrying school-based trauma of their own.
We can respond to that reality in two ways:
Keep pointing fingers and issuing demands
Build bridges that invite families in
Only one of those changes outcomes.
What Real Literacy Partnership Actually Looks Like
If we are serious about partnership, it has to be practical, accessible, and human.
That means:
1. Literacy Nights That Teach, Not Perform
Not events designed to showcase programs, but spaces where parents and children practice together.
Model a read-aloud.
Practice phonemic awareness.
Let families see and try what effective instruction looks like.
2. Modeling, Not Messaging
Don’t just send home instructions.
Show parents how to do it using the same language we use in classrooms.
3. Easy-to-Use Home Resources (For All Literacy Levels)
Ask yourself:
“Could a parent with limited reading skills still use this?”
If the answer is no, it’s not accessible.
4. Ongoing Parent Education
Not one night. Not one flyer.
Ongoing learning opportunities that say, You belong here. We’ll walk with you.
5. Shared Language Between Home and School
Children benefit when they hear consistent language across environments.
That means we teach parents the language of literacy, phonemes, decoding, blending, not hide it behind professional walls.
If We Want Partnership, We Have to Believe Parents
This matters deeply.
If a parent says, “I think something isn’t right,”
they may not have the technical language, but they have insight.
Partnership means we listen.
We screen.
We share data.
We explain results.
We stop playing wait-and-see games.
Believing parents is not weakness.
It’s collaboration.
A Word to Parents, Too
Partnership goes both ways.
When schools offer tools, learning opportunities, or support, I need parents to step in, stay curious, and engage.
Will every school do this well? No.
Will every family be able to participate every time? No.
But more partnership beats more blame every single time.
We Are Better Together
We are not going to fix literacy by working in opposite directions.
We are not going to change outcomes by shaming families.
And we are not going to see progress if we refuse to own our part.
But if we build bridges instead of walls,
if we invite parents into our language, our classrooms, and our learning,
if we stop pointing fingers and start pulling up chairs, we will change the trajectory of children’s lives.
And that is work worth doing together.